Pause is the realization that you’ve stopped, but know that you can move on. Pause is the feeling of purgatory when it’s really contemplative reflection. Pause is knowing that you should hit play, you want to hit play, have the desire to hit play, but for some reason you haven’t and you’re at a standstill.
You’re not at a crossroads or a cliff or the edge of the earth, you simply just stopped moving. It’s too quick to be wasting away, but long enough to be noticeable. It’s apathy. It’s boredom. It’s laziness towards your own life. It’s a moment in time you don’t necessarily wish back, but time you wish you didn’t waste.
After all the fervor and newness the new year brings, I’ve realized my life has been in pause. That zest for life I had just days ago, has dwindled into me being a slothlike hermit. When I hear lazy friends are working out more and their mantra is “summer bodies are made in winter” I get happy for them and wonder why I can’t do the same. When I hear inspirational quotes on my favorite comedies such as, “every decision you make from now on should be towards your dreams” I feel like it’s the universe talking to me.
All of this is to say that each day is a gift. I don’t see it as a way to refresh, but a way to progress forward (or backward depending on your supporting cast) from the previous day. The world around me is a nonstop movie. While I’d love to hit fast forward sometimes in life to the good stuff, I at least need to stop hitting pause. I want to see as much of my movie as possible before the film runs out. So, today, I’m hitting play again because I’ve been getting jealous watching everyone else’s previews!